I am now opening The Number One and a Half Ladies Detective Agency because at the weekend that naughty tortoise we usually look after did a runner and we all had to get out there and look for him. You can imagine everybody looking under the bushes and running around as there was a reward of one hundred pounds mentioned by his desperate owner. Someone in the family had let the tortoise out to play unsupervised for half an hour and of course after being in for such a long winter, the sun being high in the sky, what was a poor tortie to do? Well he did.. he legged it round the corner of the house to the nearest bus stop and if he hadn't been found just in the nick of time I reckon he would have just caught the 604 to Birmingham. Of course the name of the tortie is Speedo. The owner claimed the £100.
I have decided to be a dick because of this adventure
coupled with the mystery we have going on down the plot....
A few weeks ago a tunnelled hole, not too large, appeared next to the spinach and onions. We gently covered it over hoping it was just an odd incident but to our dismay it got longer and a bit wider, too small for Mr. Fox, too big for the White Rabbit. We know it doesn't like spinach because that is still intact. What the hell? We are now logging clues daily. Not heavy enough to leave indented footprints. Obviously and thank goodness, not vegetarian as we have lettuce just coming up. Yesterday gave us another clue, macabre though, there were bones at the mouth of the tunnel, Yuk! We have been looking up various habitats for wild things and are non plussed unless it could be not your regular visitor, maybe a polecat or a mink, the hole is too big for a rat, mole, ferret or weasel. Hope the bones don't get any bigger or we may get worried, real worried!
4 hours ago